Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Tired of hearing “just put yourself out there” when it comes to friendship or community? Same.
Friendship IRL is the podcast that skips the fluff and gets real about what it takes to build meaningful adult friendships and lasting support systems. Whether you're struggling to make new friends, maintain old ones, or just want people in your life who really show up, you're in the right place.
Each week, host Alex Alexander brings you honest conversations and tangible strategies to help you connect—for real. You’ll hear stories from everyday people (plus the occasional expert), learn what’s working in modern friendships—and what definitely isn’t—and walk away with ideas, scripts, and action steps you can actually use.
Think of it like a coffee date with your wisest, most encouraging friend—the one who tells the truth and hands you the playbook.
🎧 New episodes drop every Thursday. 💬 Want to share your friendship win or struggle? Leave Alex a voice message at AlexAlex.chat.
Follow along on Instagram or TikTok @itsalexalexander and join the movement to rethink how we build connection, community, and friendships in real life.
Episodes
129 episodes
Using Parasocial Relationships as a Bridge For Real Community Instead of a Replacement For It
The term ‘parasocial relationship’ was coined in the 1950s by American sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wohl to describe how people connected with TV personalities at the time. Today, parasocial relationships have expanded to ...
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Episode 128
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47:17
Using Data to Manage the Friendship Mental Load With Mark Houghton
When was the last time you just called a friend because you wanted to talk?We carry these super computers in our pockets, but sometimes, using them to stay in touch feels more complicated than ever. There are some people we can ring spon...
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Episode 127
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52:57
How Deep Friendship Can Impact Radical Change with Priya Vulchi
Sometimes friendship can be a powerful force for social and political change.This is according to today’s guest, Priya Vulchi, author of the newly-released (and AMAZING!)
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Episode 126
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1:09:07
Super Psyched: The 4 Types of Connection We All Need with Dr. Adam Dorsay
Have you ever stopped to think about what connection actually IS? How do you define the multi-faceted thing that we talk about all the time on this podcast? That’s what our guest, Dr. Adam Dorsay, is tasked with in this episode.&nbs...
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Episode 125
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1:08:31
The Easy Ask
Who in your life are you most consistently connected to? Is it a partner? A roommate? A friend, sibling, or parent? Now tell me this: when was the last time you wanted to lean into an interest, and you automatically asked this parti...
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Episode 124
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19:22
The Awkwardness of Making Friends When You Can’t Rely on Proximity
A few months ago, I made a professional connection, and the energy felt good. As we neared the end of our working relationship, I realized I didn’t want this connection to end – but there was no logical way for us to get together. W...
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Episode 123
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27:39
How Small Acts of Kindness Can Create Monumental Ripple Effects with Bryan Driscoll, author of The Goodness Game
Do you ever think about how one small act of kindness can literally change the direction of someone's life? What if YOU could cause that turning point?Today I’m sitting with Bryan Driscoll, author of The Goodness Game, who took ...
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Episode 122
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52:38
Speed Friending With Georgia Huntley
There are endless ways to make friends as an adult, and today we’re diving into one I have never covered before: speed friending.To some of you, this will sound terrifying at first, but stick with me, because it’s actually pretty brillia...
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Episode 121
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45:34
Taking Political Action and Being a Connector Instead of an “Online Warrior”
During the pandemic, like many others, I felt politically charged, and I channeled this energy into being an online warrior.On social media, I reposted it all, making it clear where I stood – only to realize this wasn’t my highest use. I...
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Episode 120
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27:48
Do You Enjoy Your Friendships?
Are you enjoying your friendships? Are you able to be present with your people and soak up your time together?So often, people focus on what’s missing in their friendships. They have this idea of what “peak” friendship might lo...
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Episode 119
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26:23
Friendship Time Capsule: What I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self
One of you asked me an amazing question the other day: If you could tell your younger self one thing about friendship, what would you tell her?I spend so much time thinking about community and connection – probably m...
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Episode 118
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21:13
The Friend Who Got Away: Regrets, Reality Checks & Why Some Friendships Haunt Us
Do you ever drive past a former friend’s house and find yourself flooded with memories?Suddenly, you start thinking: what would it be like if you still talked? Maybe it’s just a fleeting thought, but maybe this thought really stings. As ...
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Episode 117
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19:01
Pet Peeves: The Things We Never Talk About
Everyone’s allowed to have pet peeves. It’s normal and bound to happen.In this episode, I talk about common pet peeves; my friends’ pet peeves; and my own pet peeves. Do you ignore them? Deal with them? (Also, how DO you deal with them?)...
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Episode 116
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25:15
The Friendship Guilt Spiral
Recently, I left a text message from a friend unanswered for ten days.It’s not something I’m proud of. All I needed to do was respond to this friend, but the more time that passed, the more it felt like a bigger response was needed.<...
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Episode 115
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16:34
We are ALL Deserving of Help with Laura Malcolm, founder/CEO of Give InKind
Have you ever had to FIGHT somebody in order to help them?I’ll bet we all have that friend who meets you with resistance when you offer to show up for them. “It’s too much,” they tell you – even if it’s no trouble at all.Today, we...
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Episode 114
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58:21
The Hidden Costs of Being the “Strong Friend”
I used to love being the “strong friend.” For awhile, it was a large part of my identity, and I’d brag about dropping anything to help a friend in need.In retrospect, it’s easy to see how being the “strong friend” came naturally to me. I...
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Episode 113
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31:21
Being Brave Enough to Show Up
At the time this episode airs, there are devastating wildfires in Los Angeles – and yet, I’ve seen some beautiful levels of response. When something bad happens, whether to one person or an entire community, people want to help. Con...
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Episode 112
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35:43
Permission to Host Imperfectly (and Consequently Host More Often)
Think of a space you feel completely comfortable in that’s not your own home.For me, it’s my grandparents’ house. I can easily picture their front porch, where my grandmother waited for us; the table we played cards at; and the garden, w...
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Episode 111
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35:10
You Say You Want a Village … But do you?
Your village is out there, waiting for you. It might even be knocking on your door, and you haven’t realized. People often think they need to make enormous shifts to find community; they need to move to a tiny village on the other s...
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Episode 110
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36:44
A Recap of 2024: My Illness, Podcast Growth, and What’s Ahead in 2025
The year 2024 feels like an absolute whirlwind. Where did the time go?Today’s episode was inspired by one of my podcast producers, Alison, who told me she loves episodes this time of year that take you behind the scenes, which feels good...
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Episode 109
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22:15
How to Talk to Friends About Celebrating Holidays Together
I sobbed in the car about the holidays this week – but not for reasons you might think.Here’s what made me emotional: I am so grateful and excited for the ways we are celebrating our holidays this year. It could not be further from the r...
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Episode 108
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31:03
Creating Traditions that Stick (Hint: Sustainability is Key!)
Traditions are incessant. They HAVE to keep happening. That’s what makes them traditions! So how do you create traditions that stick around month after month, year after year? In my opinion, it’s all about sustainability. Traditions...
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Episode 107
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33:47
Let’s Talk Chosen Family
If you’ve listened to this podcast before, then you know the concept of the chosen family is very important to me personally.Some people in my chosen family play a variety of roles. Some play just one. Some are back-ups; others are back-...
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Episode 106
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35:04
Filling Your Life With Transformational Spaces and Believing Mirrors With Debra Driscoll
A few years ago, Debra Driscoll was living in Brooklyn, navigating a long-distance relationship and a life split between the city and the sea. Then, in 2020, her world was turned upside down.Instead of seeing this as a setback, Debra too...
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Episode 105
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44:11
Getting Less Passive and More Active on Podcasts and Social Media With Sharon Walters
Many times on this podcast, I’ve talked about how powerful virtual connection can be, with the caveat: are you ACTUALLY engaging, or are you just lurking? Today we dive into connection through podcasts and social media, emphasizing ...
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Episode 104
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1:03:34