Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Tired of hearing “just put yourself out there” when it comes to friendship or community? Same.
Friendship IRL is the podcast that skips the fluff and gets real about what it takes to build meaningful adult friendships and lasting support systems. Whether you're struggling to make new friends, maintain old ones, or just want people in your life who really show up, you're in the right place.
Each week, host Alex Alexander brings you honest conversations and tangible strategies to help you connect—for real. You’ll hear stories from everyday people (plus the occasional expert), learn what’s working in modern friendships—and what definitely isn’t—and walk away with ideas, scripts, and action steps you can actually use.
Think of it like a coffee date with your wisest, most encouraging friend—the one who tells the truth and hands you the playbook.
🎧 New episodes drop every Thursday. 💬 Want to share your friendship win or struggle? Leave Alex a voice message at AlexAlex.chat.
Follow along on Instagram or TikTok @itsalexalexander and join the movement to rethink how we build connection, community, and friendships in real life.
Episodes
185 episodes
Why You Feel Lonely Even Though You Have Close Friends
There’s a specific kind of loneliness that I don’t think enough people talk about — the loneliness you feel EVEN when you have good friends.In this episode, I’m talking about why you might feel lonely, and I’m breaking it down ...
Raised by Community: The Small Moments That Actually Save Kids (and Adults)
Why does connection, caregiving, parenting, friendship, and community feel so hard right now? Author Stephanie Malia Krauss is here to talk about the “weather” we’re all living in right now: we’re overtapped, overworked, oversti...
THE BOOK IS HERE! Behind the Scenes of “Are We Friends Yet?”
My book is finally out in the world.This week, I'm taking you behind the scenes of the 6-year journey that became Are We Friends Yet? — from a food blog and a 40-page e-book idea, to a 120-page Word docum...
The Secrets We Keep (For Our Friends)
What do you do if a friend tells you something deeply personal? Maybe they're getting divorced, or they’re pregnant but haven’t publicly announced it.This week, I'm sharing a friendship boundary that Michael and I have held for...
How One Bumble BFF Match Turned Into a Best Friendship with Hayleigh Hayhurst
Friendship apps have a reputation for being awkward. They're "not how real friendships happen.” But what if that's not true?When Hayleigh Hayhurst moved to Seattle knowing almost no one, she found herself craving deeper connect...
What Is Friendship Culture? (And How to Shift It Without Blowing Everything Up)
Why does one friendship feel effortless while another feels tense, draining, or rigid?In this episode, I’m diving into a concept I think about constantly: friendship culture. The unspoken norms, expectations, habits, and “rules...
How to Show Up for a Friend Going Through a Divorce with Oona Metz
Divorce is one of those life moments where everyone has an opinion, a reaction, or a face they make when they’re told – which is, much of the time, not very helpful. … So what IS helpful? That’s what today’s guest, Oona Metz, is her...
Friendship Stalls: How to Work Your Way From “Acquaintance” to “Friend”
Have you ever tried to make a new friend and felt like you were stalling out between the “acquaintance” and “friend” stages? Maybe this person was on the edge of your life for months, and yet, nothing ever changed: you saw each othe...
The Cost of Quiet: How to Stop Avoiding Conflict and Have Those Hard Conversations with Colette Jane Fehr
Here you are, leaving that friendship hangout frustrated again. You swear you’ll tackle the issue at the next meet-up, but then, time goes by. You’ve pushed the problem aside. Until it happens again. And again. Suddenly, this little...
Why We Need to Stop Using the Word “Toxic” in Regards to Friendship
Bad vibes. Frenemy. Fake friend. Toxic friendship.We have an entire vocabulary for when friendships aren’t working, but I think certain words and phrases often oversimplify friendship issues – and ultimately end up costing us so...
Neurodivergent Friendships: Self-Advocating, Masking, and Reframing Friendship as a Skill with Caroline Maguire
To me, writing a friendship manual for neurodivergent people seems kind of mind-bending. How do you encapsulate the beauty and diversity of ALL our brains in one book? And yet, today’s guest, Caroline Maguire, has done just that. Ca...
Gossip in Friendship: Is It Really as Bad as Everyone Says It Is?
Does talking about one person to another make you a bad friend?For quite some time, I’ve been considering the role of gossip in friendship. I’ve reflected on my own patterns and beliefs, and I’ve thought hard about where I’ve pushed the ...
Unmuted Rooms and Judgement-Free Listening with Erin Snow
For years, Erin Snow was a trauma-informed legal advocate for domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking survivors, so she understands well the cost of having nowhere safe to say what’s true. When she got divorced, she felt iso...
Why (and How) You Should Start Initiating Recurring Social Gatherings
Fitting social gatherings into busy lives often isn’t easy, but let me remind you of their value:One of the longest studies on human connection found that adults who went to social gatherings regularly reported reduced levels of depressi...
I Don’t Have Any Friends! (Help!)
Have you ever felt like you have nobody to call, and wondered: how did I get here? Where are my people?Maybe you’d been focusing on your career and lost touch with your friends. Maybe a big life transition has made you feel the friendshi...
Using AI to Navigate and Improve Friendships with Connor Joyce
Like it or not, AI is becoming part of our world in countless capacities – including navigating friendships. Today’s guest is Connor Joyce, a senior user researcher on the Microsoft Copilot team who has been working in the AI space ...
Jealous of a Friend? Here's What That Feeling Is Actually Telling You
Ever feel both happy and also … a little jealous when a friend shares good news?I experienced this dichotomy the other night, when my friend shared a success. I found myself performing enthusiasm while dealing with conflicted emotions; I...
How to Ask Someone to Hang Out (Without Making It Weird)
While brainstorming episode ideas, I sometimes search Google Analytics to see what people are asking. Here’s what I found this week: How do I ask someone to hang out without making it weird?Turns out, millions of people are feel...
The 10 Coffee Date Experiment That Changed Her Friendships with Alison Kinsey
She used to call herself the shy, awkward kid with one best friend. Now she calls community her superpower. Last year, Alison Kinsey decided to run an experiment: invite 10 interesting people to coffee in one year. The result? New frien...
Group Chat Anxiety (Part 2): What To Actually Do About It
This is the second installment in a two-part series about group chat anxiety.If having a massive group chat text chain stresses you out, then I’m going to let you in on a secret: it’s because you CARE about your friendships. But with the...
Group Chat Anxiety (Part 1): Why Your Notifications Feel Like Emotional Homework
Have you ever picked up your phone and discovered a hundred unread text messages?Likely you’re at the tail end of a group chat, and it kind of feels like walking into a party two hours late. You want to respond but wonder: will people be...
Grief and Friendship: Showing Up After Infant Loss with Michelle Valiukenas
When Michelle Valiukenas lost her daughter Colette after being born at 24 weeks, the grief was devastating – and this grief had real effects on her friendships, both good and bad.In today’s episode, Michelle and I talk about the evolutio...
An Act of Resistance: Why Getting to Know Your Neighbors Matters Right Now
One reason I do this work is I believe all humans deserve to feel safe – but for a lot of us, that’s not a reality right now. Across the country, from Minneapolis to Maine, people, including children, are being kidnapped from their ...
Too Many Friends? How to Stop Burning Out in Your Relationships
Ever feel like, all of a sudden, you have TOO many friendships to juggle?I know – this sounds like the most privileged problem ever! But truly, it’s a common experience, and I think the reason some of us get burnt out is because we feel ...
Should the Goal of Your Friendship be to “Never Rock the Boat?”
Have I made it sound like it’s easy to keep friendships strong and resilient?If so, let me set the record straight: making changes in friendships, even if they’re for the better, is HARD. A lot of the time, it involves uncomfortable conv...