Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

[REPLAY] How to Talk to Friends About Celebrating Holidays Together

Alex Alexander

I sobbed in the car about the holidays this week – but not for reasons you might think.

Here’s what made me emotional: I am so grateful and excited for the ways we are celebrating our holidays this year. It could not be further from the reasons I’ve car sobbed in years past.

Some of you are already excited about the holidays, and I love that for you. But that is not everyone’s experience, and for years, it was not mine. There was a period in my 20s when my partner Michael literally called me the Grinch. Holidays are often reserved for families – so where does that leave those of us who don’t have strong familial ties or want something different?

This episode is about how to create holiday traditions with your friends that feel GOOD, with practical advice on how  to initiate these conversations and get the ball moving, with the hope that you too will dream up and work toward your own ideal celebrations, too.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • My personal relationship and evolution with the holiday season, from being the Grinch to crying in the car out of happiness for my holiday plans
  • What I was looking for in my holidays, including togetherness, connection, and splitting the burden of the magic making
  • The societal normals that often limit holiday options to family gatherings or solitude, and the third option I’m proposing: holidays with friends
  • Initiating conversations with friends about getting together for the holidays – which often involves a little vulnerability 
  • The importance of patience and openness in creating new holiday traditions with friends


Reflection Question:

What would your dream holiday look like? Formal, informal? Spent with family? Friends? Alone? What seeds could you plant now so that in the coming years you can make that dream a reality?

Notable Quotes:

“I have spent the past five years figuring this out. I was truly the Grinch. Michael actually used to call me the Grinch. I didn't even realize how much I despised the holidays in my low- to mid-20s, and Michael comes from a family that loves the holidays, so I'm sure I stood out like a sore thumb because of my holiday feelings. I want to talk about this journey of going from someone who dreaded holidays to creating celebrations like this year that I am actually so excited about I am crying in my car in gratitude.” (3:14)

“If you are sitting here listening to this podcast, feeling like the holidays that are coming up aren't quite what you want them to be, I want you to know that you're not alone. I hope you already know that, but you are definitely not alone. And more importantly, I want you to know that it's okay to start dreaming up something different, and that once you have that dream, sometimes all it takes is a few brave conversations to start creating the holiday experience that you've already wanted.” (29:11)


Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!